He Should Have
by AuroraBanshee
Summary: Because he really should have noticed twenty years ago. /Rated for vague references to the Sandusky trial.


_Disclaimer: I do not now nor have I ever owned Criminal Minds, and neither do I claim so. I use the show's characters with the utmost respect for its owners and am not planning any money-making schemes._

* * *

They were on a case in Pennsylvania at the time, ironically enough.

Other than that, though, it was just another UnSub. Each one certainly had his (or her) own particular brand of crazy – for example, this one had a thing for painting his victims in an array of bright colors – but this one wouldn't stick out in Derek's mind anymore than their previous case. Maybe it would do something to JJ, whose son had recently been on an artistic streak. Maybe she wouldn't quite be able to look at his finger paintings the same way again. Derek, however, wouldn't be bothered by this case any more than normal. In fact, if he was being honest with himself, his mind wasn't completely on this case.

His mind was on a trial in Bellefonte, Pennsylvania.

Derek wasn't stupid. As much as he didn't like it, he knew the rest of the team was very aware of what was on his mind. He's sure that Hotch had thought of pulling him aside for a talk more than once. JJ offered a small smile every time their eyes met. Reid focused more than usual on the geographic profile, and any eye contact made was short-lived. Rossi eyed him knowingly every now and then, like when his eyes flickered to the news on the TV once too often, and Garcia's tone had become oddly sympathetic during their conversations.

Rossi would be the one that ultimately talked to him about it, in that casual way of his. It would be on the plane ride back home, or maybe during a car ride when they were alone, should the opportunity arise. There was no rush - it wasn't like Derek was breaking in front of them – so until Rossi talked to him, he'd be left to his own thoughts on the matter.

He appreciated it.

Derek had been a student at Northwestern and, at one point, the quarterback of the college's football team. In 1993, he'd been at the Northwestern v Penn State football game. He'd been _that close_ to what had been happening.

But he hadn't seen it.

In a way, it reminded him of a conversation he'd had with Reid.

"_None of us could have noticed. Our profile was right. We just never considered that the team dynamic could be locked inside one person's mind."_

"_I should have."_

Derek should have noticed that something had been off. He'd had firsthand experience with it. It's irrational, but he can't shake the feeling that there had been a sign that he'd missed. Maybe a smile that was just a bit off, maybe a glance that contained an emotion that shouldn't have been there, maybe a set of eyes asking anyone for help. Something, anything. He should have noticed, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to forgive himself for not.

But that was the past, and this was the now.

In the now, the UnSub that his mind should be focused on had taken seven lives already and had an increasingly shorter cooling off period. In the now, the case that his mind was actually focused on had been solved, and only the jury's verdict awaited. In the now, Derek had a job to do, and a criminal to catch. He didn't need to dwell on a Known Subject when he had an Unknown Subject to worry about.

That didn't mean he wouldn't, though.

It was oddly warm that night, and he was at the most recently discovered crime scene. As he and Rossi were discussing the possible meaning of the UnSub's sudden change in color scheme, Derek felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He checked it as he continued the conversation, assuming it was a team member, but paused when he saw it was a text message from his mother. He glanced at Rossi, who gave him that knowing look again, before reading it.

_From Mom_

_Guilty on 45 of 48 counts._

And a weight was lifted.

* * *

_Author's Notes:_

_I feel like this is a particularly disorganized piece, and I haven't decided yet whether I like it or not. It was kind of spur-of-the-moment, but I'd been thinking of doing something along the lines of this for a while. I had very little planned going in, just a few fragmented ideas, and I think that it shows._

_My heart goes out to the Sandusky victims, including those that came forward as well as those that couldn't._


End file.
